You do not need to find your future group of friends in the first week. A better goal is three familiar faces and a second conversation with someone you enjoyed talking to.
One of the month's biggest student questions in Sweden was about starting over at university, being shy and not feeling at home in the party scene. Read the Reddit discussion from August 2026.
Start by becoming a familiar face
Sit in the same part of the lecture hall a few times. Say hello to the person next to you. Stay for two minutes after the lecture instead of disappearing straight away. Friendship often starts when two people become familiar to each other through repeated encounters.
Three conversation starters that do not feel like networking
- “Have you worked out what we need to do for the seminar?”
- “I was going to study in the library for a bit. Want to join me?”
- “Shall we swap numbers in case one of us misses something in the course?”
These work because they fit the situation. You do not need to introduce yourself with a funny story. You just need to give the other person something to respond to.
If you do not like parties
Orientation events and formal student dinners are one way in, but they are not the only way. Look for smaller groups with a clear activity: a study group, board games, a choir, sport, a language café, a student society or volunteering. When you are doing something together, small talk does not have to carry every second.
Try joining the quietest part of a larger event and leaving when you run out of energy. Showing up for 40 minutes counts.
The second conversation matters more than the first
If you got on well with someone, follow up within a few days. Send the link you talked about, ask whether they want lunch after the lecture or suggest a short study session. Many people wait for the other person to make a move and mistake the silence for a lack of interest.
A simple four-week plan
- Week 1: say hello to three people and learn their names.
- Week 2: ask one person to join you for lunch, coffee or a study session.
- Week 3: try a regular activity that actually interests you.
- Week 4: invite two people to something small and specific.
“We should meet up sometime” is easy to forget. “Shall we go through the questions after Thursday's lecture?” is something you can say yes or no to.
When it feels as though everyone has already found their people
The first groups you see are often temporary. Some people already know each other. Others stick to the first person they meet because they are nervous too. You are not late because you did not have a group after three days.
If social anxiety takes over
Make the next step smaller: arrive five minutes early, ask a question about the course and stay through the break. If anxiety makes you avoid classes or leaves you feeling unwell for a long time, student health services can help you find support. You do not have to wait until everything falls apart.
The goal is not to become a different person
You do not need to become louder, more spontaneous or more of a party person. You just need to create more chances for the same people to see you again. That is how a familiar face becomes someone you text “shall we study?” and, eventually, a friend.
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